1. |
Not My Body
04:43
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This is not my body
No, they made a mistake
Still every morning I move these arms and these legs
And I turn this head
And I look your way
And I try my best to say the things I think you want me to say
Is it all a mistake?
I’ve been looking for the answers in the palms of these hands
Can’t say for sure if the stars understand
In the mirror now
Just a pile of bones
A hollowed out version of someone I left on the side of the road
Where did everything go?
Maybe all that’s left are fragments of myself
Never feels like enough to be said
So I drown it out instead
Maybe all that’s left are fragments of myself
Will it ever feel like enough
Will it ever feel like
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2. |
Off the Rails
02:59
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Doctor says “take those pills,
You’ll be alright, I know that you will.
Nothing wrong with dulling the edges of a too-sharp mind,
You’ll be just fine”
So I choke them down,
And I lose my head
The sweet decline to the softened step
I turned my back, but I heard what they said
They said, “you sweet, sweet girl
Go back to bed”
Maybe I’m off the rails
Somewhere between here and Montreal
I lost my grip, I lost sight of it all
I slowed myself from a sprint to a crawl
And now my back is pinned against the wall
He talked me down, he told me I was good
He loved me still, like I knew that he would
In the shadows where I once stood
I see light and lines, and weathered wood
Maybe I’m off the rails
I can be as sweet as you need me to be
But don’t put me behind the wheel
Because I’m going to steer us right off the rails
Doctor says “take those pills,
You’ll be alright, I know that you will.
Nothing wrong with dulling the edges of a too-sharp mind,
You’ll be just fine”
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3. |
Garden
03:10
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Planted myself a garden
To colour in my point of view
It’s overgrown since I’ve started
Pulling petals,
Thinking to myself—
Does he love you
Does he love you or not
Roses rest on the counter
He’s holding me like there’s never been anybody else
What was mine is now ours
We’re dancing in the kitchen
And all the while I’m thinking
All the while—
Does he love you
Does he love you or not
Do I love you
Do I love you or not
Flowers keep growing higher
A cold daydream of growing older too
Half the world is on fire
Who am I to sit with my head in my hands
Just trying to understand
How I love you
Do I love you or not
Does he love you
Does he love you or not
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4. |
Garden II
05:06
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On the edge of it all
I scream to hear
A little part of my stays
A little disappears
I’m so sick of second-guessing
So sick of second-guessing
Every good thing that I see
Every good thing that happens to me
So I’m burying my burdens
I’m burying my burdens
There’s no need for hurting
No more
No more
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5. |
Good Year
04:28
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I thought that I saw you
Driving your car through
The back parking lot
Where we used to shop
I said I was fine
I'm finding I’m not
I wander the aisles
Stare at the cereal for a while
Thought I heard you calling my name
The days, they came and went
All my time was spent with my head down
How do I start letting it go?
How will it end?
When will I know?
Don’t want to stay down
But scared of the fall
I’m a balancing act
That’s all
Been speaking in tongues
It’s touch and it’s go
With nowhere to run
And nothing to show
When I fall apart, nobody knows
It’s all spinning around me
I’ve got nothing to ground me
I went to the house
It all looks the same
The baby blue couch
The photoless frames
And I’m just outside
And nothing is clear
My nose to the glass
And I can still hear you say
It’ll be a good year
It’ll be a good year
It’ll be a good year
It’ll be a good year
It’ll be a good year
It’ll be a good year
It’ll be a good, good, good, good year
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6. |
Darkest Places
03:37
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I can hear your voice in my ear
It’s ringing loud, it’s sharp, it’s clear
Calling me back to yesteryear
Some cruel parade of youthful days, disappeared
Are you sick, or are you lonely?
Wasting all your hours only filling my head with regret
Then I said, “wait, no— I’m not finished here yet”
All this time I’ve been holding the space on your side of the bed
I can see how it’ll all play out
I’ll get the kids, and you’ll get the house
That’s how the world works now
Things get hard, we close the book, we burn it down
Are you sick, or are you lonely?
Wasting all your hours only filling my head with regret
Everything I could’ve said
Am I sick or am I lonely?
Wasting all my hours only filling my head with regret
Then I said, “wait, no— I’m not finished here yet”
All this time I’ve been holding the space on your side of the bed
I’ve been writing everyday,
Just trying to rid myself of any power you might have over me
Under my breath
Edge of my lips
Send a message, say you’re proud of everything that I am now
You’re holding to a photograph that’s faded
I try so hard to see the light behind your eyes, but how can I when you have only brought me to the darkest of places
The darkest of places
But I hold the space
I still hold the space for you
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7. |
Keeping Time
04:24
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I’ve been having trouble keeping time
A whole thought’s a half-step behind
I slow it down and seem to miss my spot
In the meantime
I’m running, tripping, busy buying-in to it all
A stop in New York wasn’t what I thought it’d be
Wish I could see it through your eyes
Wish I could see it through
I know the moon isn’t there for me to hold on to
Now I keep watching people pass me by
It pulls the focus from the corner of my eye
So I’m using horoscopes to plan my life
There’s got to be something bigger than me, than you
I know the moon isn’t there for me to hold on to
It’s true
I know the moon isn’t there for me to hold on to
Well I’ve been having trouble keeping time, keeping time, keeping time
And I’ve been having trouble keeping time, keeping time
Oh, I’ve been having trouble keeping time, keeping time, keeping time
And I’ve been having trouble, I’ve been having trouble
Every time I close my eyes
Another year passes by
Every time I close my eyes
Another year passes by
Every time I close my eyes
Another year passes by
Every time I close my eyes
It’s true
I know the moon isn’t there for me to hold on to
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Sam Lynch Vancouver, British Columbia
Sam Lynch is a Vancouver based singer-songwriter and musician, who makes wallflower hush-rock songs that will stare you down and slow your breathing. Her debut album “Little Disappearance” is out now via Birthday Cake.
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